The Tug of Autumn
At noon I stood in stillness
amidst a cathedral of browning oaks~
chin up, mouth agape, watching
leaves languish from the trees.
It was raining and the tug of autumn
was surely here.
I would like to be wiser, calmer,
more at home in the world.
I’d like to give my days
the delighted artfulness
of courtship, merging, lingering,
bearing witness, offering praise.
I want to hold what holds us.
~Ingrid Goff-Maidoff
Lately I’ve been considering this question from the Zen poet Ryokan, “If you point your cart north when you want to go south, how will you arrive?” I think I might do this often- second guessing myself, my deepest calling- trading in the inconceivable for the conceivable, which is often too small. Does this ever happen to you?
I’ve been doing a bit of walking lately, and asking myself some good hard questions, like “Is it God I converse with on my trail, or my own wide and mysterious life?” and “Is it a visitation I wait and long for, or the awakening of an awareness?” Must a distinction be made? Must I choose? Could it be both/and?
These kinds of questions prompt two desires: the first is to escape into the arms of a lovely sleep. And the second is to lean into the mystery, and see how I am held.
Life has Loveliness to Sell song and slide show ~ This is a pretty Sarah Teasdale poem which I sang on my album Savor the Days. I used pictures from my blog, mostly of the Vineyard, for the slide show.