There is a lotus on our fishpond. In the morning, it opens its petals to drink in the sun. In the evening, it folds its petals in again, like hands in prayer.
This has helped me to consider the naturalness of my own rythms- how I open my petals sometimes, and how I fold them in when it is time to rest.
To write about coming home may seem odd for a gal who hasn’t been away anywhere, yet that’s how these days feel – as if I am home again after a long while. I am slowing down, easing into autumn after the summer whirl- a whirl in which it feels as if I went from the basement studio, where I assemble my books and wares, to the old Grange hall where I sell them. As I slow down I begin to notice things and therefore to enjoy them – like the way the setting sun lit up Kwan Yin’s face the other night. And my gosh the fish are vibrant and healthy.
I’ve brought the plants in, and they make the house feel so cheery and alive.
I’ve even been taking the time to hang out the laundry. It’s a pleasure and a privilege not to rush. How is it that my “to do” list is so long, and my “to be” list is so short? To be less hurried, more loving, happy, peaceful, at ease….
Another quality of feeling at home is the sense of resting in belonging- of venturing out into the arms of the day that I feel when I head out on a walk somewhere. Here, the fields of Tea Lane farm are so beautiful.
The evening light filtering through the woods; the stone walls; the occasional deer- all remind me somehow of the hidden world of the soul, and the unhidden world which is right here, to be noticed, savored and enjoyed at any moment… as soon as I remember to slow myself down and to come home.
May all beings be well.
May all beings be free from suffering.
May all beings be peaceful and at ease.
May all beings know love and belonging…
It was a moment I can only describe as grace. Yesterday, after I had finished my accounting, glued some House Blessings, and surveyed my long list for the next task to accomplish, I took boxes out onto the lawn to paint gold for 100 Fortunes. Having done that, I looked up. Bees were busily feasting in the lavender, a gentle breeze was moving through the trees, a woodpecker was tapping in the oaks, and I heard my inner voice declare, “enough.”
I stood up to take in all that I have been missing, my mind on other things.
The other day, Ivan Granger included this thought in a Poetry Chaikhana mailing:
What we call the ego
is the individual’s particular way
of not being fully present.
Isn’t that well said?
In my book, The Abundance of Grace, I wrote,
Grace is often found in surrendering our plans,
letting go the need for perfection,
giving up impossible ideals,
and humbling ourselves before the mystery…
~Ingrid Goff-Maidoff.
As I declared, “enough”, I was able to let go my list. I humbled myself before the mystery, wandered the garden, taking photos, and marvelling at the beauty all around me. And I am so glad I did! I will post more excerpts on grace next.