Tending Joy

The Joy of Self-Compassion

by ingrid on September 21, 2011

Keeping a joy journal is one of the many practices I recommend in THE JOY BOOK for tuning into the love and blessings in our lives. Here is a beautiful prompt to write from inspired by the book, When I Loved Myself Enough, by Kim and Alison McMillen. I first learned of this book at one of our retreats when Connie, a beautiful soul, graciously read from it to the group. Kim McMillen begins this transforming exploration into self-compassion, love and wisdom with these words: “When I loved myself enough…” and writes from there, “I quit settling for too little.” “When I loved myself enough… I came to know my own goodness.”

I don’t know why so many of us need permission to love ourselves enough- but we seem to. Perhaps it is because our culture is driven by shame- the shame of wanting, the driving shame of unworthiness. This summer I was curious to try “when I loved myself enough” as an exercise. I began my own list of reflections which gave me so much joy that I want to share some of it with you in hopes you try this for yourself.

When I loved myself enough… I allowed myself to rest.

When I loved myself enough… I stopped looking for the sweet life in sugar and found it in other things- like Vivaldi, clouds, gratitude and appreciation.

When I loved myself enough… I stopped blaming myself entirely for the plight of the world…. I gave up judgment in exchange for beauty….I took good care of my body… I stopped looking for answers and stepped into the vastness of questions- by vastness, I mean the wide open unending wonder of it all.

When I loved myself enough… I treated myself as a friend. …I took all of the self-improvement books out of the house and concentrated instead on what I love: poetry, beauty, and a good uplifting story.

When I loved myself enough… I meditated more often…

When I loved myself enough… I saw my work as a celebration of beauty, life, love, and the triumph of the human spirit.

… I savored delicious instead of wolfing it down guiltily…

…I saw possible friends in everyone…

… I bought jasmine, orchids. orange trees and ferns and let them fill my home with fragrance and with life… I practiced QiGong,…I took guitar lessons…. I gave myself permission to goof off and sing…

Some of these reflections were of pleasant shifts toward self-compassion that I had felt myself making over the years. Others were not yet actually true, but came to me as nudges from my soul- nudges toward wholeness, passion, and toward offering my gifts.

What would your list include, when you love yourself enough?

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these moments are like fireflies

by ingrid on August 22, 2011

…the moments are like fireflies, and the impulse is to want to catch them; to hold them with nostalgia; to bow with appreciation to each gift, each breath, each wonder as it unfolds.

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Taking Stock

by ingrid on July 25, 2011

In the whirl of summer, I want to pause today to post these photographs- I count my blessings and feel blessed.

A blanket, a journal, fragrant lilies, hummingbirds in the garden- a place to rest and dream.

The kids and cousins dressed up to go to the midnight showing of Harry Potter.two of my beloveds working on the shed…One of my beloveds on an evening beach…Part of my display at Night Heron Gallery on Main Street Vineyard Haven.

In summertime, life here feels so full, if I don’t pause and pinch myself, and remember that it is a beautiful dream, I can become exhausted instead – with the tugs of commerce, the needs of family, the bills to pay…. Yet this is such a beautiful dream… yes it is….

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Making Magic

by ingrid on June 20, 2011

I ‘ve knocked myself out over the years, creating magical birthday parties for my girls: beautiful settings, treasure hunts and delights. This year I felt tired. And Rose turned 19. And she made her own magic. Her sister Bella and cousin Hannah helped, and they created a beautiful setting, delicious cakes- a night to remember.

It’s been an eventful week here at the TendingJoy compound, the kind of week I wouldn’t choose, if filling a blank calendar- one with hospital visits, vet visits, and lots of busyness in between. We don’t always get to choose, – events happen, injuries, illnesses. I am very thankful that when we can choose, we can create beauty, give love, make magic…

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A Sacred Pause

by ingrid on June 1, 2011

If you wish to be loved, love.
~Seneca

( this quote is found in 100 FORTUNES inspiration decks)

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A Sacred Pause

by ingrid on May 25, 2011

As the day follows night,
every winter is followed by spring.
Flowers bloom again, nectar filled,
to sip for new energy,
peace and well-being.

Remembering you are loved,
you return to the garden again.
Looking within, you smile~
the garden was always there.

~from The Honey Sutras

I’m pleased to say a new shipment of Honey Sutras paperbacks is in. The first arrived damaged, and the few that I salvaged have a typo. I’m offering these, hand-corrected by the poet herself (how quaint!) on sale for $10. See the drop down menu on the order page.

Every book is signed with love.

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The Whole Bliss Garden

by ingrid on April 15, 2011

People ask me
why I am happy.
What can I say?
I stopped trying to be
the sharpest tool
in the shed.
Once I gave that up,
I could rest in all this love.
Relaxed, I opened the door,
stepped out and discovered
the whole bliss garden
I’d been missing.

~Ingrid from MOONLIGHT AND REMEMBRANCE

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The More of More is Already Here

by ingrid on April 14, 2011

In love, fullness sweeps
into the kitchen of the heart.
Nothing is lacking.
The More of More
is already here,
and we can always
cook something delicious
even with all of these crumbs.
What do I long for?
Less forgetting.
That is all.

~Ingrid, from MOONLIGHT AND REMEMRANCE

Jonah and I planted daffodil bulbs together last fall, and now we are being rewarded and blessed by them. This always teaches me to have more faith; to trust in what we plant; and to remember the power of intention.