Ingrid Goff-Maidoff
From the category archives:
I have a friend who came to see me,
who danced naked under the stars.
She brought a friend who is now my friend,
and who laughed with ease and joy.
Sweet unity.
This is what we had.
Today my heart is full
of moonlight and sunlight and dancing.
Today my life is brimming
with laughter and ease, and stars.
~Ingrid
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This month I’ve had the most astonishing rest. My family left to visit our relatives in Italy and I stayed home to work- what I have come to recognize as my own pattern of stockpiling and postponement. I’ve often pushed myself in production, with the self-made promise for pleasure and rest later, when all is done. Have you ever noticed that it’s a very rare day in which we find that all is done? In any case, before they left, my shoulder had been bothering me, and by the time my family had departed it was too painful to move my right arm. My body was declaring that it was time for a retreat. And since I was in pain management for the first week, and body compassion for the next, a retreat is what I had.
I couldn’t mow the lawn, so it became a beautiful field of yellow flowers. There were days when all I could do was take a blanket out onto it and lie there. One morning I was blessed to find myself living inside this poem by RUMI:
Out beyond ideas
of wrongdoing and right-doing
there is a field.
I’ll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase each-other
don’t make any sense.
The I in the poem became the Infinite Presence, the you was me, and there we met.
Oh friends, I wrote poems; I rested; I began writing a new book. The days unfolded and so did I…
At the end of two weeks, when I was well enough to enjoy myself, but not to accomplish much with my arm (Still learning the art of being over doing…) I had house guests for a few days. What a joy it was to play with them- not to send them on their way while I worked… We went to the beach, we sauntered the trails, we swam, read, talked and laughed…
I wish you many summer splendors: friendship, beauty, harmony and rest.
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istock photo, leadinglights
THERE IS A FIELD OF JOY YOU MAY REST IN
There is a field of consciousness deep within you that contains the Universe; a field of love and beauty, truth, harmony and light. Opening to this consciousness brings a luminous feeling of bliss. Dwelling in this field feels like coming home… Seeing it in others, you realize all are One… You may dance in this field, wander in this field, and find guidance in this field. You may rest in this field whenever your mortal mind is weary. Take yourself there and rest. It is the breath within your breath, the space between your thoughts. It is your deep inner stillness, your indwelling peace and joy.
From THE JOY BOOK
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The flute of the Infinite is played without ceasing,
and its sound is love.
~Kabir
There are some days when my hands tingle with the energy to create, as if they long to be a part of the energetic expression of love and beauty and joy in the world. It’s fair to say that creating with my hands keeps me grounded, contented in my earthly life, and participating in the dance of the universe. I was happy to read this passage about the mystical poet Kabir, in Evelyn Underhill’s introduction to Songs Of Kabir ,
“Kabir was a weaver, a simple and unlettered man who earned his living at the loom. Like Paul the tent maker, Boehme the cobbler, Bunyan the tinker, Tersteegen the ribbon-maker, he knew how to combine vision and industry; the work of his hands helped rather than hindered the impassioned meditation of his heart.”
I hesitate to compare my life with Kabir, but only to say that I do take inspiration from this passage- that our work in the world, the work of our hands, might help rather than hinder the meditations of the heart. Our work might be itself a form of meditation, and our life might be our practice. It’s a game of joy; a duet, a symphony; an energetic dance; a waltz of sorts, splendid and good.
The creator brought into being the Game of Joy:
and from the word Om the Creation sprang.
The earth is His joy; His joy is the sky;
His joy is the flashing of the sun and moon;
His joy is the beginning, the middle, and the end;
His joy is eyes, darkness, and light;
Oceans and waves are his joy…
~Kabir
What a day of gladness is that day in which my Beloved,
who is my treasure, comes to my house!
~Kabir
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I took a few days off last week for a personal retreat. I went to a bed and breakfast on the Cape with a few books, journals and poems, a cooler full of snacks, and the wish to be emptied and filled.
Because it is the quiet season, I had my choice of rooms. It was the bathtub that won me. And so I chose this room.
I spent three nights here in solitude, and asked myself, “why do you retreat?”. I wondered if it was to get away from my cares, and I realized that I love my cares. I love my family and my home- even all of the distractions that they provide me. But I needed a few days to let some contemplations settle in, without the temptation of jumping up to do laundry or sweep the floor before they had really taken root within me.
I went for a few walks, but mostly hunkered down in the room. I wasn’t lonely. Not because I am such fascinating company, but because I do love the world, and find that it is fascinating.
I worked on poems, and I journaled and read…and somehow mostly settled into the realization that I love the Eternal Realm, the spiritual and poetical realm- not in opposition to my earthly experience, but in addition to it. This was a lovely personal epiphany which brought me a lot of excitement and ease, and a great sense of well being.
Last week I remembered that it is in the human heart that heaven and earth meet and mingle and are glorious company to each other. I realize this may sound obvious. But it was something I was in danger of forgetting.
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Beloved is one of my names for the divine spacious presence I carry in my heart and whose eternal and infinite presence holds me also. I’ve glimpsed my Beloved, and often. And forgotten my Beloved as often as not. It is a strange dream, this living. A strange dream and a holy pursuit- full of beauty, love, longing and belonging. What I long for is this: The joy of awakening over and again to find myself in the arms of the day; to awaken and say, “Hello my Beloved. Hello my Beloved which is everywhere.” ~Ingrid, From The Joy Book
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To write about coming home may seem odd for a gal who hasn’t been away anywhere, yet that’s how these days feel - as if I am home again after a long while. I am slowing down, easing into autumn after the summer whirl- a whirl in which it feels as if I went from the basement studio, where I assemble my books and wares, to the old Grange hall where I sell them. As I slow down I begin to notice things and therefore to enjoy them - like the way the setting sun lit up Kwan Yin’s face the other night. And my gosh the fish are vibrant and healthy.
I’ve brought the plants in, and they make the house feel so cheery and alive.
I’ve even been taking the time to hang out the laundry. It’s a pleasure and a privilege not to rush. How is it that my “to do” list is so long, and my “to be” list is so short? To be less hurried, more loving, happy, peaceful, at ease….
Another quality of feeling at home is the sense of resting in belonging- of venturing out into the arms of the day that I feel when I head out on a walk somewhere. Here, the fields of Tea Lane farm are so beautiful.
The evening light filtering through the woods; the stone walls; the occasional deer- all remind me somehow of the hidden world of the soul, and the unhidden world which is right here, to be noticed, savored and enjoyed at any moment… as soon as I remember to slow myself down and to come home.
May all beings be well.
May all beings be free from suffering.
May all beings be peaceful and at ease.
May all beings know love and belonging…
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It was a moment I can only describe as grace. Yesterday, after I had finished my accounting, glued some House Blessings, and surveyed my long list for the next task to accomplish, I took boxes out onto the lawn to paint gold for 100 Fortunes. Having done that, I looked up. Bees were busily feasting in the lavender, a gentle breeze was moving through the trees, a woodpecker was tapping in the oaks, and I heard my inner voice declare, “enough.”
I stood up to take in all that I have been missing, my mind on other things.
The other day, Ivan Granger included this thought in a Poetry Chaikhana mailing:
What we call the ego
is the individual’s particular way
of not being fully present.
Isn’t that well said?
In my book, The Abundance of Grace, I wrote,
Grace is often found in surrendering our plans,
letting go the need for perfection,
giving up impossible ideals,
and humbling ourselves before the mystery…
~Ingrid Goff-Maidoff.
As I declared, “enough”, I was able to let go my list. I humbled myself before the mystery, wandered the garden, taking photos, and marvelling at the beauty all around me. And I am so glad I did! I will post more excerpts on grace next.
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E.B. White said, “I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.” Do you have similar desires tugging at you every morning? I desire simplicity AND celebration; working with passion AND time with my family; to give And to receive. Although I am not convinced I can improve the world, I do want to pour forth blessings, beauty, and love into it, and I want to continue to determine how to keep my own burden upon it small.
Sometimes I find a halting duality in my desires, when I fall into either/or thinking: improve OR enjoy, simplicity OR celebration, work OR play. Then it is hard to plan the day. I am saved often by the reminder of Both/And. I may both work and play, both improve and enjoy, both give and receive.
I offer these quotations from my Happiness book of quotations, published by Andrews McMeel, coupled with these friendly pictures of a goat at North Tabor Farm. I love goats. I love their full embodiment of humility and playfulness, enthusiasm and curiosity. They do not seem torn between the desires to improve or enjoy- they simply enjoy.
Live in each season as it passes;
breathe the air,
drink the drink,
taste the fruit.
~Henry David Thoreau
Mix a little foolishness
in with your serious plans.
It is lovely to be silly at the right moment.
~Horace
The burden of self is lightened
when I laugh at myself.
~Rabindranath Tagore
The car has broken down,
my love is far away.
My bones feel weary,
and my mind is tired.
Still, I can say with joy
that happiness remains.
~Ingrid Goff-Maidoff
Dwell as near as possible
to the channel in which your life flows.
~Henry David Thoreau
It is the simple things in life that make living worthwhile,
the sweet fundamental things
such as love and duty, work and rest, and
living close to nature. ~Laura Ingalls Wilder
The Infinite Goodness has such wide arms,
it takes everyone that turns to it.
~Dante
Such blessings we receive,
such gifts of grace!
If we have wandered
from the path of gladness,
point us back to Life!
~Ingrid Goff-Maidoff
The journey is the reward.
~Chinese Proverb
If only we’d stop trying to be happy~
we’d have a pretty good time.
~Edith Wharton
Be happy. It’s one way of being wise.
~Colette
The big question is whether you are going to be able
to say a hearty “yes!” to your adventure.
~Joseph Campbell
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The very purpose of our lives
is happiness and joyfulness.
That is very clear.
~Dalai Lama
On Tuesday, June 2nd, I will be a guest at Jan Lundy’s blog, Awake Is Good. I will be there all day to explore joy- to have a conversation with you. Please stop by. At the end of the day, Jan will give away a copy of my Joy Book, as well as a bunch of my other inspirational offerings. I will open our conversation Tuesday with this article.
I love words. I love to get down into them, coaxing them from a tight bud into an open flower, revealing multiple petals fragrant with meaning. And I love to make connections between wisdom traditions, listening for what others have said throughout time and around the world. This has become a kind of path for me, and it is the way in which I have been exploring Joy for many years. While I don’t know everything there is to know about Joy, I have sought the world’s wisdom, sat with it fondly, and welcomed Joy to take up residence in my thoughts and in my heart. For me, Joy will always be a kind of personal opening, or a journey - an intimate exploration into life and a sense of love and belonging.
In my exploration of Joy, I found that we all have various ideas about what it means. Some of us have even developed an aversion for the word, so I was eager to move beyond a bud-like understanding and open it up to a fuller flower. I also discovered that many dictionaries offer a rather superficial definition: the anticipation of something one wants or desires. Yet I had a strong inkling that Joy was not merely the result of something as fleeting as wants and desires, accomplishment or acquisition, (and not even simply the exuberant rush of good feelings) but more to do with a sustained intimacy with the eternal, spiritual dimension of our lives -a dimension which is sometimes forgotten or ignored in the fret and hurry of our culture today.
In fact, the more I explored Joy, unfolded and opened joy, the more it dawned on me, and I had to ask: what if Joy was this spiritual dimension as well as our relationship to it? What if joy was our essence: joy, love, innocence, harmony and wisdom? What if joyfulness came from this spiritual understanding? And what if we have forgotten this and are instead living with a mistaken and impoverished identity?
I soon began collecting a mass of quotes to support my theory. Here are just a few of my favorites:
Joy is the realization
of the truth of our oneness,
The oneness of our soul with the world,
and of the world-soul
with supreme Love.
~Rabindranath Tagore
From Joy I came.
For Joy I live.
And in Sacred Joy
I shall melt again.
~Yogananda
You are seeking joy and peace
in far off places,
but the spring of joy is in your heart.
The haven of peace is in yourself.
~Sai Baba
I have spoken these things to you
That my joy may remain in you,
And that your joy may remain full.
~John 15:11
As essential and ubiquitous as air,
the presence of Joy is boundless, eternal,
without beginning, without end, spacious, ever-new,
ever-flowing, growth, the expanding universe,
infinite energy, bliss emptiness,
the fragrance of a marigold,
the free fluttering of wings…
(ok- I wrote that one.)
This exploration alone landed me in a profound state of Joy. I found that Joy emanates and is in fact suffused with a much deeper meaning than the one in my dictionary. Eventually I, with humility and boldness, penned a new definition for Joy.
1: An abiding and profound sense
of love and belonging.
2: A deep passionate awareness
of the very act and art of living.
3: A sacred happiness. 4: An intimate trust.
5: A vibration. 6: An inner smile.
7:A Divine Current flowing through us
and into the world.
My next question was: How do we return to the presence and practice of joy? What I am learning is this: To arrive at this Joy, we each find our own personal ways to tune into it, tend to it, and infuse our lives with it. When we live from a place of intimacy with life, we live with an awareness of love and belonging; we feel held, energized, and at home in the world. There are as many ways to cultivate this intimacy as there are people - some of us practice meditation, yoga, walking in nature; some attend churches, temples and synagogues; some write, some cook, some play the kazoo, some run, others hold each other. I say it isn’t either this or that- it’s all of it, all of it. Lighting a candle, enjoying the fragrance of a flower, contemplative reading, creating art, listening to birdsong or music, singing - even just breathing deeply - there are tens of thousands of ways to land ourselves in Joy.
What are some of yours?
Take this
fanciful Joy.
Let it bloom
Inside you
like an orchid.
Let it open you
like a window.
Let it lift you up
to ride the wind.
Oh, Beautiful Soul,
pitch your tent
in this field of joy
and adventure out
from there…
~Ingrid
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