“In everyone’s life, there is a great need for an anam cara, a soul friend. In this love, you are understood as you are without mask or pretension. The superficial and functional lies and half-truths of social acquaintance fall away, you can be as you really are. Love allows understanding to dawn, and understanding is precious. Where you are understood, you are at home. Understanding nourishes belonging. When you really feel understood, you feel free to release yourself into the trust and shelter of the other person’s soul.” From John O’Donohue’s book Anam Cara
One of my favorite people passed away this weekend. She was a soul friend, an anam cara- she was someone I could talk with about anything without feeling judged. And we could speak together on topics that might have other’s eyes glaze over. We could also sit together in silence. We “got” each other. It’s tempting to say that this kind of friendship is rare, but I suspect that many people felt this way about her. I once called her up, saying “I’ve been thinking of you.” She said, “I know.”
Just last week we had bumped into each other at a cafe, her bright eyes were smiling, and we promised to catch up with a walk very soon. I took that walk by myself this morning, and all day have felt such appreciation for all that she taught me. I’m going to miss her. She was the first local friend I planned to give my new book to, called “Befriending the Soul.” I’ve just been waiting for copies to arrive in the mail. I had been looking forward to giving it to her- because she loved to speak on the soul, and teach of the soul, and be in the soul.
She lived well, and I do not think she feared dying. I feel shock, but not sadness- at least not for her, perhaps for my own sense of loss. I will miss her, (did I mention that?) and yet I feel her continuing to inspire me in many ways.
If you are blessed to have a soul friend- call them up and make a date! If you do not have a soul friend, ask the universe to bring you one.Posted in Soul, Tending Joy |